11 years later

Welcome folks!

I’m writing because, well, I’m the type of person who likes conclusions to the stories I read, and I figured I might as well give you some closure on this blog.

Someone recently liked one of these ancient posts, and it prompted me to read my old masterpiece for the first time in a decade. I also realized that it’s exactly 11 years since my last post and I figured, well, I gotta do an update.

The most important information: I still run! I’ve run 3 marathons, countless halfs, limitless 10ks, it’s still a big part of my life. I’m 31 now, and much slower, and much nicer to myself. I’ve run in 6 different countries, hit 8,000km on my Nike app, and gone through 16 pairs of shoes.

I started this blog to pad my resume to get into my dream school, and it worked: I got in. I now have a successful career in tech, and I just bought myself a house, and I have a new little black and white dog to run with (RIP Ruby).

That’s also why I stopped writing, once I saw “accepted” in the online portal, I peaced on WordPress.

I started running because I wanted to prove to myself that I could. In high school, I couldn’t even do the 6 lap test in PE. But in my senior year, my mom signed up to walk a 10k, and I figured, if she could walk it at 58, I could run it at 17.

I kept running because I hated myself and I had lost control of my life. I re-read these posts and see the self hatred, the compulsive exercise, and the anorexia underneath everything I wrote. That time in my life is still hazy, I don’t remember it well. My dad died 2 years after my last post, and my family fell apart. I had already fallen apart.

The rest of my 20s was hard, but transformative. I made many other bad decisions. but a bunch of good ones too. I turned 30 in the middle of the pandemic, and despite everything going on, I could look back and say I was way better off at 30 than I was at 20. I’d healed from my eating disorder and found ways to love running for running’s sake. I found people who loved me wholeheartedly, and who I could love back without being afraid. I have much more appreciation for myself now, for the little things that make me special, and for the world, the little things that make it worth sticking around for.

It’s not all sunshine now, to be clear. But I’m still trying! And I’m still running.

Take care out there!

The Tortoise

Boring Life Updates!

Well I try to be regular and post every Sunday but this week I have nothing to say. No insightful observations or hilarious musings. I’ve had a nasty chest cold this week and have been focusing on midterms and my training. I ran my first 30k yesterday and it was (as I’m sure anyone who has run the same distance can attest) terrible and amazing. It hurt in new ways that I didn’t know my body could hurt. I hobbled a bit this morning but once I got warmed up I didn’t feel too bad. One of the extensor tendons in my left foot got a bit upset at the overuse and is a little inflamed today. I’ve been icing it and trying to avoid fancy footwork (it’s so hard to do).

I ran the 30k at a molasses-like pace of 6:35/km on average. The grand total time was 3:19:20, which must seem terribly long for faster runners but it made me feel pretty good! My initial time goal when I started training for the marathon was a cushy and vague sub-5 hour time. However, after seeing that I can maintain around 6:30/km in training, I’m hoping I can push it for a sub-4:30 time. We shall see! At this point, as long as I cross the finish line, I’ll feel accomplished.

I also got brand new shoes. After the big deal I made after my last new pair, you’d expect a post. However, I got the exact same pair made by the same company in the same colour and size for the same price. They’re just whiter. Here’s a comparison shot:

No there is no shadow on the left pair. They're just that dirty.

The lighting is terrible because I took it at 5:30 in the morning before my run. I knew I was going to hit the trails in the rain so I took the photo before the whiteness could get mudded up.

They work fine, obviously. The tightness may have contributed to my angry tendon so I’ll make sure they’re a little looser for my speedwork tomorrow.

All in all, it was a very regular, end of February week. I hope you guys had a more exciting time of it!

Secondary Running Skills

"I asked for dressing on the side! HIIIIIIYAH."

There are a lot of lessons I’ve learned throughout my time running. Some skills and attributes I’ve developed were expected, such as sweet quads for roundhouse kicks and/or running up hills, or an iron power of will (brain: “I don’t care if you feel appendicitis-y abdomen, we’ve got 6k to go!”). These things did not come easily but they didn’t surprise me.

This post is not about the expected benefits of running. This post is about the skills I’ve developed that bear no other purpose in real life and were wholly undesired, in the sense that I didn’t even know they were things one could get better at. Here goes, my secondary running skills:

 

1. The amazing ability to convert miles to kilometers, and vice-versa, on the fly.

Great! Not only have I memorized the popular race distances in terms of miles and kilometers, I am now also able to tell American tourists how many miles it is to the golf course! Or gasp when a film character tells me that the madman was driving 100 miles an hour (that’s 160k, eh!)! These situations arise about once every two years, so… good. Great. That is something I can do now.

The walking calculator. Nobody's best friend.

 

2. The possession of a database of distances from my house to most any other place in town.

Hey friends, did you know that I know the exact kilometer count from my house to yours? Were you aware that I run past your house in the wee hours of the morning and wave at you even though I know you’re asleep/ aren’t living there because you’re at university and it’s just your parents? Well you do now! You should also know that it’s 3k from my house to the closest coffee shop, 5.5 to the fire station, 7.5 to the farm with the llamas, 1 to the nearest beach, 3.5 to the playground, and I could go on and on. I hope your Creep Alarms are blasting right now, because there might be a malfunction if not.

Me, outside your house this morning.

 

3. The chops to deal with dogs, deer, and various other creatures you meet early in the morning.

 

4. An awe-inspiring knowledge of rap, hiphop, and 80’s rock lyrics.

All I can say is that I’m pretty fly for a white girl. Ask me to rap a little for ya, and if you’ve gotten enough vodka sodas in me beforehand, I may treat you to Lose Yourself by Eminem in its entirety. You’re welcome. Plus. I’ve got the Eye of the Tiger/ I’m the Best Around/ I ride in a Chariot of Fire. So there’s that.

Tried searching for photos of me looking gangster and my computer exploded. So here's a photo of a fat baby instead.

 

5. Knowing what decibel level is too loud when yelling at drivers-by for interrupting my pace.

See I want to yell, but I don’t want them to hear me. Aggressive… but not too aggressive.

 

Of course, there are some skills I wish I would develop but don’t foresee doing so in the near future, including:

1. How to use a foam roller on my legs without looking like a pervert.
2. How to explain to people why I’m not going out (gotta run), drinking (gotta run), trying new foods (gotta run) without sounding like a mega-dweeb.
3. How to stop trying to convince my friends and family to start running so I don’t have to do it by myself all the time.
4. How to stop myself from bragging when I hit a new distance/ PR. Although, if I’m honest, the bragging rights are the best part.
5. How to drink from the little paper cups at aid stations (I KNOW I’m supposed to pinch one side it’s just hard mid-stride, okay?)
6. Finally, and this is a big one, how to be less awesome. It’s getting tiring.

 

Gu Review

So I love Gu. I heart their products so hard. And guys, no one is even paying me to say that (although, you know, you can if you want). I thought about my love for Gu at length during yesterday’s 28k. Well I alternated between thinking about Gu and being convinced that the noise the wind was making was actually murderers and/or ghosts. But my insanity can’t be that interesting for you, so back to Gu

I love their gels and their electrolyte drink mixes and I’m not ashamed of it. I know there are some fancier brands out there with all-organic ingredients and natural sweeteners but eff that I love Gu. Tried Clif Shots and they gave me the barfs. Gatorade and Powerade make my intestines cry. Powerbar Gels — that doesn’t even make sense. You can’t be a bar and a gel at the same time. Gu is where it’s at

My favourites in particular, and the products I am most familiar with, are the gels. As someone who generally tries to limit sugar, taking a shot of pure liquid carb gel is like committing adultery (also known as the most fun sin). But even I have to admit that not all Gu gels are made the same.

So I present to you, dear reader, a completely subjective and unscientific review of Gu gel flavours. I do not pretend to have any real understanding of how the gels make me not want to die during three-hour runs. I don’t care about their patented recipe or the carb mix or whatever. All I know is that some taste like heaven and some taste like balls.

 

First off, the winners:

 

Sublime happiness in portable packaging.

Chocolate Outrage:

My absolute go-to. I’ve bought several 24-pack boxes of these babies. I used to be able to knock out a whole pan of fudge in my better days; chocolate was my thing. After shaping things up food-choices-wise, I don’t get quite so much chocolate in my life. These taste like how I imagine Nutella would taste without the hazelnut. Or like Betty Crocker chocolate icing but better. Just pure chocolatey, sugary, goodness.

 

Mint Chocolate:

The obvious next step. Just as good as plain chocolate, but with mint. Like downing molten Peppermint Patties. Perfection.

 

Espresso:

Tastes how I think the specialty drinks at Starbucks and TimmyHo’s should taste.  Just thicker. Which makes it sound gross. But if you can’t get over the texture of a gel now you never will.

 

Vanilla Bean:

Like vanilla pudding. Enough said.

 

Peanut Butter:

Just found out yesterday that they’re introducing this flavour. Promptly went into convulsions of joy. Peanut butter is my ultimate, numero uno, favourite food in the world. Beating even chocolate. I know.

 

And the losers:

Anything fruit-related:

Strawberry-Banana, Lemon-Lime, Orange, Tri-Berry, Jet-Blackberry… all taste like dollar-store candy. Like something’s not quite right. Like somebody cloned the fruit in a laboratory and it turned out to be evil so they made carb gels out of them. I do not recommend these ones.

 

Gu Roctane:

I don’t dislike the idea of the Gu Roctane line; they call these products ‘race day gels’ and they’re supposed to give an extra boost with double the caffeine and other scientific crap like amino acids or whatever. It’s just that the flavours they came up with are terrible! The Vanilla-Orange tastes unholy, the Pineapple like the tears of leprechauns, and Blueberry Pomegranate? UGH. Island Nectar? What does that mean?

 

Plain:

Never tried it. Can’t get over the idea of just plain sugar goo. I need some flavour to provide at least a sheen of reasonableness, like I’m not just dipping a soup spoon into the sugar bag and downing the mountain of calories that comes out.

 

So that’s my roundup of the Gu gel product line. It’s incomplete but I live in Canada and don’t get all the cool flavours okay? Jeez. You may have different thoughts but those are mine.

Disclaimer: You don’t need gels or electrolyte drinks or protein bars unless you’re running many kilometers a week. Don’t waste your money. When I first started running I would read all these articles about proper carbo-loading and electrolyte imbalances and get myself worked up about it. Truth is, you’re probably fine with a bit of carbs in your belly and a piece of fruit and some protein as a post-run snack. I personally only use gels if I’m running 12-15k+, and then only sparingly. So relax.

Do you have a favourite brand of energy gel? Do you even use them or prefer something less Frankenstein-like (raisins, homemade carb bars, something like that)? Any recommendations? Looking forward to hearing everyone’s opinion!

Every Trip to the Running Store Ends Like This

 

Well I realize it’s been a while since you heard from me. I spent the week trying to think up hilarious thoughts about running and couldn’t come up with any, so I figured I wouldn’t subject you to anything terribly unfunny.

I also spent the week ramping up for midterms and worrying about odd pains in my legs that I was afraid would keep me from my training. Of course I was over-thinking things and the strange pains, which were muscular in nature but never affected the same part of my leg two days in a row, cleared up and I managed to knock off a 24k training run yesterday morning. I was hoping to beat my half-marathon PR in the process and missed by two minutes, which I was upset about until I realized that being able to comfortably run almost as fast as a PR on a training run is pretty damn good and that I shouldn’t be pushing myself too hard anyway. Didn’t I mention somewhere that I am slow and proud of it? Maybe somewhere near the top of this blog?

So I guess that’s one of my goals for the month; I want to focus on injury prevention and taking it easy on my long runs. They’re supposed to be long and slow right? Setting records is for race day only hopefully.

In other news… I went shopping! Thought I would share my spoils with you.

Please keep in mind that I went into The Running Room with the intent to purchase only a set of $10 reflective snap bands, and walked out having spent $80 on all this stuff.

The reflective bands I was guilted into purchasing by my kindly volunteer coordinator at the public library; apparently she passed me a couple times one morning and could see me fine when I was facing her but that I “emerged from the shadows like a criminal” when she came at me from the other way. Although I kind of like the image (I sometimes like to pretend I’m a badass art thief or something when running at night), I took her kindly scolding and went to get these bands:

They are also snap bands. The 90s child within me is so very pleased.

 

They cost $10. Made by Fuel Belt. Probably I now won’t die when running in the dark, so that’s nice.

And then I went ahead and bought two new pairs of socks:

Invisible people wearing socks. This is a scary concept.

There's more than one!

 

The first green pair is to replace a nearly identical yet pink set that I wore (and bled/sweated on) all summer and fall and were like my modest little companions. Not too flashy like my neon shoes or all advanced like my Nike+. Just a solid sidekick that helped me to avoid pus explosions from my feet. You’re welcome for that image by the way.

And then my mom lost one of them. And so I filed for emancipation. Not really, but this is why I’ve tried to avoid letting my mom do my laundry since I was 14. I appreciate the thought… but things tend to disappear.

And the second set… they’re thicker and I liked the thought of not losing feeling in my toes on early morning runs. Both are from Wigwam. About 90% of the reason I purchased these over another brand was because I like to say Wigwam. Wigwam.

And finally, the hot pink foam roller:

It really goes well with my parents' living room decor. as I'm sure you can imagine.

 

I mentioned a while ago that I was interested in foam rolling. But it sounded complicated. Then I saw the pink and the foam and it was $25 so I bought it. And let me tell you… it hurts so good. I’m in love. It made its debut yesterday after the 24k and so far so good! No mystery pains.

I spent roughly $70 more than I meant to walking into that store. Why does everything in running stores have to be so cool? I want to try it all out, everything. All of the things!

So pretty much I bought stuff this week and ran around a bit and also went to school. I guess I had a typical February week. How depressing.

Shit ____________s Say

I’m sure you’ve all seen the original “Shit Girls Say” videos and its various popular spinoffs. But look! I found running-specific ones! The first is titled “Shit Runners Say” and I’m ashamed to admit I’ve uttered at least 50% of the phrases they say. I included the videos made about ultrarunning and triathlons not because I do either of these sports, but because I know I’ve said more than a few of the same things. Especially the triathlon video — “fartlek”.

Enjoy!

P.S. As a side note before you indulge in hilarity, any advice on tight hamstrings? My right in particular has been nagging at me. Not quite pain… but not quite right either.

Okay here you go:

 

 

 

You Know You’re Training for a Marathon When:

So I wrote a little post the other day about what I saw on my 20k long run on Saturday morning. It wasn’t until today that I realized I ran (pretty much) a half marathon as a training run. I didn’t even think about the distance. I just busted it out like it wasn’t no thing. That’s when I decided that I’m officially like a runner or something. I ran a half without even wanting to brag about it! Well… until now.

The return of smug Obama.

 

It got me thinking about other aspects of my life that have changed since starting training. So here goes:

1. You run a half marathon as a training run and don’t think to brag about it. But uhm hey, do it please! So I’m not the only one.

2. You can’t go out on the weekends anymore and you’re cool with it. Friday’s out, you’ve got to load up on carbs and hit the hay early in order to get out at 5am for your weekend run. And by the time 5pm rolls around on Saturday, you’re dead on your feet. Maybe something to do with running around in circles for three hours? People ask you to come out but you’ve already made plans with another bowl of pasta and a couple episodes of Criminal Minds.

"Sorry guys! I've got to stay in and read this biography of Jeff Galloway!"

 

3. You do several loads of laundry a week consisting only of running gear. Your towels fall by the wayside (you don’t want your expensive Lulu tights to pill) as you do load after load of specialty shirts, snot-covered gloves, mud-splattered jackets, and socks with suspicious blood stains on them. By the way… no matter how often you clean them, those stains are there for keeps.

4. You’ve stopped trying new food in fear of what it’ll do to your digestive system. Someone at a party (mid-week of course, we’ve been over this) offers you a spicy Indian dish. You laugh and refuse. You don’t want to know what will happen during your 10k the next morning. Nothing good can come from that stuff jumping around in your intestines tomorrow. Trust. Me.

5. You’ve stopped feeling embarrassed about leaving the house with a head lamp on. You’ve got a run to do before heading to class/work/whatever and if that means strapping on a unicorn horn you’re a-okay.

6. People start asking you if you’re that girl they see every morning on the roads. You sheepishly nod and they invariably tell you you’re crazy. You’re used it by now. As a little small-town addition to this, I’ve been told that I cause quite a lot of discussion on the commuter buses that drive past me several times every run. I know all the drivers (very. small. town.) who then tell everyone my name, that I’m training for a marathon, and that “I’ve got a good head on my shoulders”. Booyah, thank you bus driver man.

7. You eat and eat and eat and god you’re always hungry. What more do you want from me body? I can only eat so much in one day!

Breakfast

 

8. You know exactly what you’re going to be doing at 6:45am on March 28^th. Running of course, what else? You may be like me and have your schedule set until November.

9. You tire your dog out on runs, not the other way around. “Come ooooonnn Ruby just 3k left! We can do it!”

10. You consider a 10k run as a nice, easy, mid-week run. Then you think about when you first started running and a 10k seemed like an impossible feat. Then you feel amazing.

 

Have you noticed any big changes in your life after starting your training? Hopefully they’re all positive ones (or at least not too bad).

Observations on Rural Routes

I absolutely CANNOT look at this photo without laughing. Roosters! Hilarious!

Okay, well all of my runs are technically rural runs, considering I live in a rural district. But my long run yesterday seemed particularly folksy for some reason. Some issues that arose:

The man in the yellow velvet pants: Maybe I’d call them something more like ochre. A dark yellow. Keep in mind that this was at 6:45am on a Saturday morning. Where were you going velvet-pants man? What sort of event occurs in the dark on weekend morning and requires velvet pants? And why, why yellow?

The confused roosters: Hey roosters, maybe you didn’t know this but dawn only happens once a day. There is no reason for you to be crowing at 7:30 and then again at 8:30 when I pass by on the last leg of my out-and-back.

The playground ghosts: My music lulled just as I passed the elementary school. It was pitch-black out. Suddenly I hear a clanging; the swing set is swinging by itself. Playground ghosts, quit freaking me out at the 2k mark. I’ve got 6k of darkness to get through and more besides.

Freaking myself out again. Child ghosts are the woorrrrrsst.

The pickup truck party: Construction workers, tradespeople, and I guess people who buy a lot of firewood or something are the type of people who a) drive pickup trucks and b) tend to sleep in on Saturday mornings. So why was I passed by at least thirty trucks yesterday morning? Where were you all going? It was a party, wasn’t it? A pickup truck party that I wasn’t invited to because I drive a Corolla. Well, I’ll have you know that I’m officially truck-adjacent because my brother just bought one, and also that I can make some delicious party treats. So invite me next time guys.

The guy walking home in the dark and seeming pretty happy about it: Hey guy, do you realize it’s dark and raining a bit and windy? Why are you so pleased? What’s in your paper bag there? You’re too happy for this time of day, and that’s coming from me. I’m suspicious.

The offended llamas: These guys are pretty much always offended looking. I don’t know if you’ve ever had any dealings with llamas, but they’re a sassy bunch. Why can’t a girl just shout good morning when she’s riding high on endorphins? You were already awake, so don’t give me that look. I feed you guys carrots on the regular, the least you can do is greet me with a smile. Or indifference, as your sheep neighbours across the street do.

I'm not that ugly! Stop staring!

The woman walking her three huge Afghan hounds: The first clue that I’m heading into trouble: booming barks that shake me to the core. Please let them be on leash, please let them be on leash, I’m too young to die. Thankfully, the hounds were tethered. Also wearing identical and differently coloured rainjackets, which, under any other circumstance, would have been hilarious. I was just still trying to catch my breath. Lady, the dark is no time to walk your splendidly clothed canines! My imagination already turns trees into the Predator, I don’t need giant dogs to help my nightmares along, thanks.

So it was in a ponderous mood that I concluded my run, a surprisingly easy 20k. I’m glad to be getting back into the higher numbers; any time I drop down I convince myself I’ve lost my fitness and will never be able to run again. Thankfully, these kilometers flew by, although I’m sore today. Tomorrow: more hill-training. Yahoo!

Confession Time

I run alone pretty well 95% of the time. Up until this fall, that number was a strong 100%. Since starting running with my lovely lady friends twice a month, I’ve been getting a little social contact in. But most of the time, it’s just me and my music hitting the streets and pounding the pavement.

This means I’ve developed terrible habits.

I dance a lot to my music. And I mean a lot. I try to rein it in when cars pass me but there have been more than a few that have come around corners to surprise me mid-smooth moves. Mostly my moves involve a lot of arm flailing. A little bit of creative foot-work makes for what I’m sure is a hot mess of terrible for early morning commuters. I don’t really care. I have fun, and if a few people might get scarred for life, I’m willing to take that chance.

My moves are only slightly worse than this.

I also sing along to my music. This is less noticeable to passing drivers but much more horrifying for people I see on the trails. I’m sorry to everyone who I’ve ever burst upon while belting out the lyrics to “I Will Survive”. I know at first you were afraid, you were petrified, but I hope you’ve gotten over it.

It's pretty much this except I'm wearing clothes and I jump out of bushes.

I specifically bought both pairs of my winter gloves for their snot-wiping capabilities. Running so early on cold days makes for some runny nose issues. I’ve perfected a snot-blasting technique but some still needs a little wipe.

I spit with general abandon. This habit is particularly unappetizing on race days but I do honestly try to rein it in.

But the weirdest thing I’ve developed is what prompted me to write this post. I noticed the other morning that I am pretty rude to stop signs. I revel in not having to obey them as a pedestrian (although I do look both ways, thanks Mom) but I also see them as a kind of downer. They keep telling me to stop. Sometimes this idea seems pretty appealing when it’s -5*C and I can’t feel my face but I know I have 10k left to do. Seeing that big red sign proclaiming exactly the same thing as an evil little inner voice keeps yelling makes me angry. So I treat stop signs with contempt in order to shut that bugger up.

Screw you, inanimate object with no actual power over me!

I’ll run up to a stop sign, and sometimes I try to be polite, and it tells me to STOP and I say “Don’t think I shall thanks,” and continue on. Sometimes there are people around so I’ll just make a subtle rude hand gesture (please imagine Ross Gellar’s alternative to the finger). Sometimes I’ll be extremely rude and swear at the thing. I also do that when people are around if my back hurts or something.

So do these strange running-alone habits make me abnormal? Do you have similar weird habits that you probably wouldn’t have developed if you ran with people more? Let me know, and otherwise, happy trails!

More Talk of Hills

Wooooooooo...hoo.

Things are moving along training-wise. In addition to speedwork, I’ve added some hill training into my schedule. And, just like the speedwork sessions, it’s been a long, long time since I’ve done any work on hills.

My schedule this morning called for 4-5 hill repeats of 200m at a 5-10k pace. I decided on both 5 repeats and a 5k pace (about 6:00/km) because I had the day off yesterday and was feeling well-rested. I started out at my house and did a 2k warm-up before finding myself at the bottom of a little hill I like to call Vimy Ridge.

Ugh. War looks terrible.

It’s actually fairly tame, with a steady incline, and is around the 200m my schedule demanded. The unfortunate thing was that the skies decided to open up and dump a couple centimetres on me just as I started the repeats.

Literally, the snow started when I started the hills and then stopped the second I got home. And you know what sucks about snow? It’s very susceptible to wind. That stuff was all up in my face the entire time! No matter what direction I was facing. Wtf Nature. Try doing me a solid and choose one direction in which to assault me.

Also, I may or may not have broken my iPod. I was trying to take a photo of the snow-covered hill but couldn’t figure out how to make it take photos rather than video. Then it stopped responding to all commands. I think that might have something to do with my snow-soaked gloves and that white stuff falling from the sky? Yeah maybe. It’s working well now (so far) so I’m not worried. You guys will just have to imagine the hill.

Feel free to picture something like this.

Thankfully I was otherwise prepared and had my heavy-duty gloves and everything. Still no ghetto snow-sneakers. The repeats themselves went well, and I even sprinted the last one, for the lulz. I had a quick 1k run home and ended with a total distance of 5k.

So far it’s been a great week. Excuse me while I ruin that by reminding myself that I have about 28 chapters of textbooks to read. Happy Monday everyone!