Confession Time

19 Jan

I run alone pretty well 95% of the time. Up until this fall, that number was a strong 100%. Since starting running with my lovely lady friends twice a month, I’ve been getting a little social contact in. But most of the time, it’s just me and my music hitting the streets and pounding the pavement.

This means I’ve developed terrible habits.

I dance a lot to my music. And I mean a lot. I try to rein it in when cars pass me but there have been more than a few that have come around corners to surprise me mid-smooth moves. Mostly my moves involve a lot of arm flailing. A little bit of creative foot-work makes for what I’m sure is a hot mess of terrible for early morning commuters. I don’t really care. I have fun, and if a few people might get scarred for life, I’m willing to take that chance.

My moves are only slightly worse than this.

I also sing along to my music. This is less noticeable to passing drivers but much more horrifying for people I see on the trails. I’m sorry to everyone who I’ve ever burst upon while belting out the lyrics to “I Will Survive”. I know at first you were afraid, you were petrified, but I hope you’ve gotten over it.

It's pretty much this except I'm wearing clothes and I jump out of bushes.

I specifically bought both pairs of my winter gloves for their snot-wiping capabilities. Running so early on cold days makes for some runny nose issues. I’ve perfected a snot-blasting technique but some still needs a little wipe.

I spit with general abandon. This habit is particularly unappetizing on race days but I do honestly try to rein it in.

But the weirdest thing I’ve developed is what prompted me to write this post. I noticed the other morning that I am pretty rude to stop signs. I revel in not having to obey them as a pedestrian (although I do look both ways, thanks Mom) but I also see them as a kind of downer. They keep telling me to stop. Sometimes this idea seems pretty appealing when it’s -5*C and I can’t feel my face but I know I have 10k left to do. Seeing that big red sign proclaiming exactly the same thing as an evil little inner voice keeps yelling makes me angry. So I treat stop signs with contempt in order to shut that bugger up.

Screw you, inanimate object with no actual power over me!

I’ll run up to a stop sign, and sometimes I try to be polite, and it tells me to STOP and I say “Don’t think I shall thanks,” and continue on. Sometimes there are people around so I’ll just make a subtle rude hand gesture (please imagine Ross Gellar’s alternative to the finger). Sometimes I’ll be extremely rude and swear at the thing. I also do that when people are around if my back hurts or something.

So do these strange running-alone habits make me abnormal? Do you have similar weird habits that you probably wouldn’t have developed if you ran with people more? Let me know, and otherwise, happy trails!

8 Responses to “Confession Time”

  1. Any Excuse to Wear Track Pants January 19, 2012 at 1:28 PM #

    I found your blog quite entertaining, and frighteningly familiar! I do catch myself singing aloud to the tunes on my ipod when I run (but I think I do that when I’m walking to the shop too)! It can also be embarrassing when I opt for the gym and kinda sing along while I’m on the treadmill, but thankfully, the treadmills are somewhat separated from other gym equipment. I’ve also had urges to break out into dance but I’ve managed to control that. But swearing, well, I do that pretty much all of the time!!!!

  2. Hope January 19, 2012 at 7:13 PM #

    God, you make me laugh. It’s good to know there are others like me out there, running and spitting and cursing.
    Yesterday it was too cold to run, so I went to an indoor track and did 44 laps. The worst part by far was the inability to spit wherever I wanted.
    I’m intrigued by the nose-blowing…my real question is: before you became proficient at it, how many attempts were there with horrible results?

    • thetortoiseruns January 19, 2012 at 7:28 PM #

      Enough horrible attempts for me to find refuge in early (dark) mornings! It’s really an issue of timing. Get the majority out with one big blow and clean up from there. God so disgusting! Runners are so open with discussion of bodily fluids I love it.

      My particular favourite situation is in a race and one guy just ups and hocks a loogie, and everyone else does the same like they’ve waiting forever! Such a lovely bunch.

  3. Running For Today January 19, 2012 at 10:16 PM #

    I always wonder if people think I’m talking to myself when I run b/c I’m blasting out the tunes trying to think about something other than how bad my run is going! I also have golves specifially for wiping all the snot off my face…sometimes the sleeve is needed as well 😉 Lastly, yes, I blow red lights and stop signs sometimes surprised that I didn’t see the car coming…(OOOPS) however, I think to myself, they would do the same damn thing if they got off their a** and decided to run!!!

  4. TestingTrueChange January 20, 2012 at 8:05 AM #

    Ha this is hilarious yet true. I may have been caught dancing along with my ipod 😉

  5. runningthriver January 22, 2012 at 7:58 AM #

    LOL I love this post. Probably because I can relate 😉

  6. Caitlin Constantine January 22, 2012 at 8:30 AM #

    I spit and shoot snot rockets with abandon when I run. If I catch a guy watching me run, I plug one nostril and let fly. Charming, I know.

    I also make hand gestures when I run and sing out loud. Today “(C’mon) Catch Em By Surprise” by Tiesto vs. Diplo came on (it’s my new favorite running song) and I had no choice but to sing the chorus.

    Running is not about looking cool. No one looks cool when they run, unless their name rhymes with Schmara Schmoucher, but that’s about it.


  1. Life Without Boot Camp… « The Running Thriver - January 22, 2012

    […] to help you clear up the tears- all my runner friends out there should check out this post by the Tortoise Runs for a good […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: